Love hurts…

I am not an expert but as far as I am concerned who else can help you more than the ones who have been in the same dark places?! 

Tell me are you still pinning over that relationship that you thought it was love and you could not live without, but actually brought you only distraction and heartbreak?! They kept you in the past and you couldn’t seem to progress?! Was that kind of lovemaking you stronger or vulnerable?

With so many options for dating it is hard to distinguish what is love and what is a lesson, what is lust and what is intensity. We are master at blocking each other as soon as something does not go our way or just a small disagreement and we are out, for good!

We move on to the next relationship or love affair without having second thoughts about the previous one, we know we will get over it pretty soon, why crying over spilled milk anyway. Trust is broken, we also carry on same unresolved issues to the next encounter, same baggage we need to deal with before entering a new relationship, and if don’t do proper healing those will just keep on popping up, with no intention to disappear.

So again we are left heartbroken because they did not meet our “expectations”, another failure in our book of fast track starting and ending of relationships.

What happens it is that we are not willing to do any work until we actually meet someone and we learn things in a hard way. Someone who will enter in our life like every other and will leave like every other, but this time we can’t escape from realizing what is really going on, they are like candles in our darkest nights, deep down we wished they would come, but we did not know they were also going…because if they stay we both will treat each other like we have done with everyone else, but if they go we will understand their importance.

Have you ever found yourself in the arms of someone you thought it is just “another one”, I can handle this, or I know it is just another one but I can’t handle this, and one of you has gone, to not return back, not anytime soon, probably not in this life.

Those are the ones that for some tangible, unknown reasons we couldn’t consume our relationship with, and ironically, those are the ones that hurt us more than all other loves. Unfortunately, some of us hold questions and regrets in our mind until we die. We do not get over them, we just make peace with whatever happened after some desperate times, after some contemplation.

They are not to mess up with, they are here to tell us that quantity it is not quality, that not always a relationship is made by love, and accepting love means getting rid of all limited beliefs, that being practical has nothing to do with who we fall in love with, that lust it is not a connection, that time won’t make the feelings go away, that all is not lost, that love actually hurts just to break your walls of superficiality, that you will definitely love again.

That you can not walk in life like a ghost pretending you can have everyone, but in the end you love none, you belong nowhere.
That if everything it is fine in our life we won’t do any research, we won’t even be in difficult relationships, we would live happily ever after.  

I might suck at relationships and for that reason, I am trying to resonate with those who in the same frequency, are trying to figure out this world of doing and undoing. Just like feminists, in the beginning, were protected by men, by their fathers. Those who struggle in relationships will help others to not repeat the same mistakes they did because they did not know better at that time.

I have learned to make peace with heartbreak, to move past my own set of barriers, that it is all good to not say never, that you do not own any explanation to anyone, that you can be in another relationship while still loving someone else. That some people are more important than others (that’s why it is harder to let them go), that some cords of attachments are impossible to break, that some even though they care, very much they are not ready for you, that pride keeps love at arm lengths only physically, that there are no forever goodbyes…
That we can set people free even when at first feels like we can not live without them, but we still set them free so we both discover our true potential.

I have learned that it is our birthright to love and be loved, and…even when love hurts, you’ve got to still trying. ❤️❤️❤️