If I run away…

When you are a little child, you are pure and honest, full of joy. You see life as an ocean with endless opportunities. You want to build castles and plant flowers. You want to discover whatever is in it. You have a big smile, you wear your heart on your sleeve because you trust, you are innocent, you are diligent. 

You see the water, never-ending, clear, beautiful and you want to get inside and dive in it because you trust the water, even though at first you don’t know how to swim, you are thrilled by the depths and the mystery.

You go inside with high hopes and dreams, with ideas and you pour all of your heart there just like you do whenever you go and with whomever you are. You have no idea that water can be dangerous, that there is good, bad and ugly, there are all sorts of creatures, and the tides of the water, water it is not as simple as it seems, water runs deep, water runs wild, water can suck you in for you to never find a way out.

Who knew, you loved the water so you got in it and you thought that somehow just like you would have done, water will be nice with you, will hold and teach you. That water will take care of you, will love and protect you. All of your life, all of your lifetimes you trusted in water, you were clueless…

And when you struggled to survive, water whispered at you: “ It is your fault that you don’t know how to swim”, and water became a voyeur. From all the pain and the heartbreak that water has caused, at some point you were scared to death, you were afraid to get even closer, you just watched it from afar shivering, and you thought will I ever be happy again just like I was when I was a little child. You grew up but you still have that heart of gold, you can not seem to accept that life has black in it, but you can’t seem to fight the illusion of the rainbow that you hold in your great imagination.

Your dreams have been crumbled by the cruelty of the water. Yet… you love the water… so after a while, you accept the challenge, you decide to face the water, otherwise, life has no more sense, and you are not here to be defeated and to give up, you are not here to have a dull life. And you, in your spiritual awakening, you finally learn how to dance with the danger, fighting against the anger and the tides of the water, you learn how to float and you learn how to predict every move until you sense it before it even happens.

You learn how to fly when it becomes stronger and thunderous and you can’t seem to dive in any longer. Instead, you run away from the fakeness, you run away because you can’t stand it when the water destroys himself and the others, when the water hides, wears masks, denies,  becomes angry, it is so seriously damaged and detached. You run away because the water showed how you don’t want to be, because you don’t need his love, you don’t need his mercy, you don’t need his help, you don’t need his attention, you are no longer interested in his sad stories, because water your pain is yours to handle.

I thank you for I am now running away wiser, as I can come and go as I please and that’s my destiny.