The awakened and the unawakened twin!
First time when I said I love you, I was clueless, I had no idea what love was, I needed you to love me back so I could feel better about myself, I was clingy, desperate, a child that was asking for help. And you, you pushed me away so hard, it broke my heart into million pieces and my soul was crying, was crying for help, until I collapsed, a near to death experience. I thought that was it, instead, I got awakened!
And as shocked as I was, I realized how cruel I was being with myself, how can I love someone else more than I love myself, how sick can I be, what is wrong with me? I got into this spiritual awakening more and more, deeper and deeper and I learned things I liked and things I did not like, but I finally got released, moving on, moving on…no more pain, only love for myself, only me, I am the most important creature, only me and the Universe. And I got better and better, slowly but surely putting all my parts together.
But, we can’t break cycles we have signed for, and something was missing again, I was feeling sad and I did not know why. I kept on thinking and missing you more and more, more then ever before, what the hell, I thought I was going crazy, I started my own healing process from the beginning, but that lingering feeling… Who are you? Why do I have to go back at this, didn’t I suffer enough?!
Truth is, those feelings where there all the time, they were just nicely hidden, and now the spirit was bursting again you have got to deal with this, my throat chakra and all kinds of sicknesses, I was hiding something and then in my realization it was something I must accept, I must let it out there, I must admit. And I said it for the second time, I love you and I mean it! This time, I have to deal with Ascension! This time not from fear, this time I really loved you, I feel only sorry I could not realize that before. This time I said it consciously, with awareness, and I was brutal because I know that makes you run away even further, that scares you the most, now I know because we feel like we are not worthy of so much love, but guess what we are, more then we believe!
All my walls cracked, the tower was broken from inside, not to actually break me but to help me create myself all over again, stronger, bold, unique, new, fresh, eternal, the only thing that survived, after all, was my heart and my heart was full with love, more than ever before, I rose up like the Phoenix from the ashes.
At some point everyone was against us, you as well, even God, but I stayed unshakable, I never gave up. How could I give up on you, if I give up on you it means I was giving up on a part of myself and that does not benefit anyone.
Obviously, who wants to let light be spread in the world, we have been living in darkness for so long we have failed to love, we have been chained and when freedom it is an option we are scared to death to accept it, because it is something we have never been used with, ironically.
And we go back to what is “normal”, we live our boring, predictable life because it is so comfortable and we are so scared to change like change is unrealistic a fantasyland. Only a few will have that ability to go in the opposite direction than the rest, that path that it is so freaking great!
When the opportunity it is been presented, everyone around will try their best to put us in order again, to put us in the queue, the status quo can’t be shaken, are you crazy?! Only a few will dare to see beyond and they are not here to live accordingly and they don’t mind being accepted or not, they are here to take out the glasses of illusion. Can you handle it?!
And I know I am authentic I will only commit to the truth, I don’t care if I will make few mad, if few will get out from my life, they were not supposed to be there anyway, I don’t care if I am not accepted by societies expectations, frankly I don’t give a damn. I am free, I am alive, I am blessed, I now realize that after all, it is so amazing to act out by my heart desires, rather than put on masks and suffer for the rest of my life.
Therefore, I love you, you can run as far as you can until you get it, until you understand that what you were being fearful all this time was your liberation. I hope you allow it and you experience it, you will see how beautiful is to be on the other side of the bridge, it is green, rainbow and flowers, and freedom and freedom until the end of all times.
Thus, I love you, you don’t have to run any further, I don’t need you, I love you! I want you to deal with it and accept it and understand how amazing it actually is, so powerful, so liberating, so bright, soulful! ❤️❤️❤️
