Fear of commitment!

Short story: Please don’t leave me, or I will leave you before you do, as I can’t manage being crushed again, sorry, love you!

To all those who are afraid of committing! It feels like death when you meet someone you like, as you can not handle the intensity, and there are two ways, you will either screw it up from the very beginning, or you will face it and you will be on the other side of the bridge, safe and sound!

This does not make sense to those who can’t understand this kind of fear, It will never really make sense unless you experience it.

There is also another way of dealing with it, blocking your heart and your emotions, not feeling anything and keeping the other in arm lengths, when they get to close you run away, and this is what usually happens with those who are frightened by commitment, they run from themselves, they run from the other.

Why they are afraid in the first place? Due to their unresolved childhood emotions, due to their anxiety attachments with their primary caregiver, usually their mother, who happens to be very busy, to be sick, to be detached emotionally, physically not available and so on…As a result of, those people, feel unsafe whenever their emotions are in play as they can be hurt just like it happened when they were little children.

They know what abandonment feels like and how painful truly is, as they were to sensitive to face it at that age, so they brought this lesson in adulthood, and every time someone stimulates that fear, they bolt, they run, they run pretty far, as it feels like hell. 

When they meet someone who comes after them, shows affection to them, their response, their defense mechanism is to run further, as they get triggered, and when they like someone, they will push them away, thinking, how can I lose them, how can I lose myself, how can I be rejected, abandoned, betrayed and hurt again, yet… they choose over and over those who do replay that movie time after time!

All that happens for a good reason, not to be punished, but to be cleared up from that negative energy, from that shattering feeling, from that illusion that was felt in their body and they believed it so badly it was factual.

In many cases, these individuals are unwilling to also bring children in life, to have a family, they either postpone it or they never commit, because that is a big responsibility, and both responsibilities and commitment they relate it with pain, obligation, it hurts, with unworthiness, it leaves you alone…so most of them when they do not deal with this issue, they will not be able to build up what they love the most. 

On the other side, one day you will meet someone and you just can’t lose them, you can’t afford it this time as it feels like survival, like panic attack, you can’t run far either, you know that you will rather “die”, or you will raise up like the Phoenix from the ashes, because they are very important, and they are there to show you your biggest fears, noticing them, facing them, let them go!

That’s all! No one will die, regardless of how strong and real that feeling feels like, you will be just fine, actually stronger than ever before, as you have been betrayed, left out in the cold, rejected, emotionally abused by those who have same fears as yours and you survived.

Both of you are playing out that role for one another so you can help each – other grow, heal, raise your vibrations, and experience love, as you will learn that it is alright to be vulnerable, you will not get broken, your patterns will, and you will again be freed!

Stay in love, because when you know what is your biggest enemy when you just become aware of it, you have been already healed, and it will turn into your best friend. As you will not have any temptation playing same drama again, because you are the one who loves deeper than anyone else, because you know the value of love and life way better, you have learned that in a hard way, remember, that’s why you appreciate it more! ❤❤