Why am I so unlucky?

You are wide awake
So painfully self-aware

The simplest failure feels fatalistic
Very responsible from the start, for your wellbeing and that of others.

There have been many years you keep on waking up in this glorious mood but then throughout the day, you feel the world weighing in your shoulders, making you feel depressive for no apparent reason.

Many years of nothing really happening, yet dealing with lots of pain.
Reliving many lifetimes
Crumbling down into the silence of your subconsciousness…

Facing fears of who knows…
Forever questioning life
This eternal mystery
This never-ending shadow work

Your siblings, neighbors, your best friend, and even your ex-partner have had the easiest path.

They do not really wonder, rebel, disagree, or confront themselves nor any authority, they do not ask, there is no deep thirst to know.

They are just living life like they would be there forever
Like it is a right that it is given to them. No desire for more, for excitement

This is the reality they say, and it looks they are managing themselves pretty damn well.

You see, they have it all, the prosperous life that they always wanted or they just participate in it without any real awareness

You on the other side struggle to understand yourself, your many emotions, your ups and downs, the river of life choices and decisions.

You are not unlucky
You are blessed with knowledge beyond belief
You are quite one of a kind
You are a master of highs and lows

Ironically, to become a healer, you must first heal yourself
And that means you have something to heal, therefore, you may have undergone hardships and challenges.

Your life is full of colors
The diversity you have experienced is making you grow stronger.

It is teaching you valuable lessons, so you can give such to others.
It is giving you the courage to be mindful, but happy.

Because life is fun, beautiful, and adventurous.
Enjoy it!

RS❤